Why “Fair” Does Not Always Mean “Equal” in Estate Planning
- Ashley Sharek
- Jun 20
- 2 min read
When it comes to dividing assets, many people feel torn between treating their children equally and doing what feels right for their specific family situation. The truth is that fair does not always mean equal. Fair estate planning is about making sure your wishes are honored in a way that makes sense for you and the people you love.
At Entrusted Legacy Law, we help families navigate these emotional decisions with clarity and compassion.
What Is the Difference Between Fair Estate Planning and Equal Estate Planning?
Equal means everyone receives the exact same amount. Fair means everyone receives what is right for them, based on their needs, relationship, or contribution. These ideas often clash in estate planning.
For example, one child may have provided care for you in your later years while another lived far away. You may want to leave more to the caregiver because of their dedication and sacrifices. That is a fair decision, even if it is not equal.
When Unequal Distributions Make Sense
There are many situations where an equal distribution may not feel right. These include:
A child with special needs who will require lifelong support
A child who helped with caregiving or managing finances
A family member who is estranged or financially independent
A blended family where stepchildren have different relationships with you
Your estate plan should reflect your personal values and family dynamics. It is your opportunity to care for each person according to their unique circumstances.
Legal Tools to Document Your Wishes
It is essential to clearly outline your wishes in legally binding documents. These may include:
A revocable living trust
A last will and testament
A letter of intent explaining your choices
Powers of attorney for financial and health decisions
These tools help reduce confusion, prevent future conflict, and provide your family with peace of mind.
How Planning Ahead Helps Your Family
When families are surprised by an estate plan, emotions can run high. A thoughtful plan that explains the reasoning behind unequal distributions helps your loved ones understand your decisions. It reduces the risk of disputes and honors your intention.
Having these conversations now, and working with an experienced attorney, brings clarity and comfort for everyone involved.
Real-Life Example
We once helped a client who had three children. One daughter had moved home to care for her full-time, while the others visited occasionally. The client chose to leave a larger portion of her estate to the caregiving daughter. We helped her document this in a way that was clear, respectful, and legally sound. After her passing, the family understood her wishes and respected her decision.
No fighting. No confusion. Just peace.
Your Legacy. Your Way.
Estate planning is not about pleasing everyone. It is about protecting your legacy and caring for your family in the way that feels right to you.
Let Entrusted Legacy Law help you create a plan that reflects your heart.
